Food and Eating Page Toppers

some of the above titles came from Eric's Thematic Songlists

Quotes

• The act of putting into your mouth what the earth has grown is perhaps your most direct interaction with the earth. (Frances Moore Lappe)
• Age does not diminish the supreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. (Jim Fiebig, NANA)
• All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast. (John Gunther)
• Bread always rises to the occasion.
• Carrot cake counts as a serving of vegetables.
• Cookies are great when you are feeling 'crummy'.
• Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
• Health food is anything you eat before the expiration date.
• I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little boy and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli! (George Bush)
• I don't eat snails, I prefer fast food.
• I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it. (Clarence Darrow)
• I doubt whether the world holds for any one a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice-cream. (Heywood Broun)
• I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
• I would plant my own garden but you can't buy French Fry seeds!
• If we are what we eat I'm fast, cheap, and easy.
• If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
• It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
• Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. (Doug Larson)
• Life is a combination of magic and pasta. (Fellini)
• Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. (President James Garfield)
• My kids are funny. They won't eat the heels on a loaf of bread. So I patiently explained to them that they eat rolls, and rolls are all crust, just like heels...and now they won't eat rolls!" (Dik Browne)
• Once in a young lifetime one should be allowed to have as much sweetness as one can possibly want and hold. (Judith Olney)
• One of the very nicest things about life is the way we must regularly stop whatever it is we are doing and devote our attention to eating. (Luciano Pavarotti)
• Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like. (Mark Twain)
• Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
• Preach not to others what they should eat, but eat as becomes you and be silent. (Epictetus)
• Sushi /n./ Known to most of the world as 'Bait'.
• A teenage boy's idea of a balanced diet is a hamburger in each hand.
• Thank heaven for little grills.
• Those who forget the pasta are condemned to reheat it.
• The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again. (George Miller)
• The two major food groups:
  1) The foods that you put cheese on.
  2) The remaining foods that you put chocolate on.
• Vegetarian: A person who eats only side dishes. (Gerald Lieberman)
• Waitresses can dish it out.
• What did cured ham actually have, anyway?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• A wise mother give her children two choices at mealtime: take it or leave it.

Riddle

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
(answer at bottom of page)

On Ketchup

If you do not shake the bottle,
None'll come and then a lot'll.

The Toaster

(William Jay Smith)

A Silver-scaled Dragon with jaws flaming red
Sits at my elbow and toasts my bread.
I hand him fat slices, and then one by one
He hands them back when he sees they're done.

The Picnic

(Dorothy Aldis)

Oodles of Noodles

I love noodles. Give me oodles.
Make a mound up to the sun.
Noodles are my favorite foodles.
I eat noodles by the ton.

On Top of Spaghetti

(Sung to the tune of On Top of Old Smokey)

Vanilla Please

(Patricia White)

Mother and Grandma

(Crystal Bowman)

Animal Crackers

(Christopher Morley)

Animal crackers and cocoa to drink,
That is the finest of suppers, I think;
When I am grown up and can have what I please,
I think I shall always insist upon these.

What do you choose when you're offered a treat?
When Mother says, "What would you best like to eat?"
Is it waffles and syrup, or cinnamon toast?
It's cocoa and animal crackers that I love most!

Celery

(Ogden Nash)

Celery, raw,
Develops the jaw.
But celery stewed,
Is more quietly chewed.

Ode to Stew

I surely never hope to view
A steak as luscious as a stew.
The latter is the tasty goal
Of elements in perfect whole,
A mad assemblage of legumes
Exuding warm ambrosial fumes,
Each seasoning of proper length,
Proving in Union there's strength.
A steak is grander, it is true,
Yet needs no special skill to brew.
It is an art a stew to make,
But anyone can broil a steak.

Pilgrim Verse

For pottage and puddings and custards and pies,
Our pumpkins and parsnips are common supplies,
We have pumpkins at morning and pumpkins at noon,
If it were not for pumpkins we should be undoon.

Table Manners

(Gelett Burgess)

Food Page Ideas

• Use this quote with appropriate pictures.
  Someone's in the kitchen with Mommy, Someone's in the kitchen I know,
  Someone's in the kitchen with Mommy, eating all the cookie dough.
• Make a color copy of a favorite bib. Us it on a page with photos of reactions to first foods or for messy face or spaghetti face photos.
  Try to have some with the baby wearing the copied bib.
• Make a large half watermelon or large watermelon slice using pink or red paper and green or evergreen paper. Cut holes where the seeds should be then used those little postage stamp size pictures that come with packages as the seeds (mounted under the holes). You could also crop the photos in the shape of seeds. (Aretha)
• Use scalloped scissors to take a "bite" out of a food related die-cut or photo.
• To make a page for all those trips to McDonald's cut golden arches using this pattern. Enlarge pattern to size you want. Cut out of gold paper and use it to journal on or mat small photos. Or cut it out of light paper and use as a background on the page.

There's Nothing to Eat

(Erma Bombeck)

The baby manual would have you believe a child's first words are "Mama" and "Dada". Don't you wish. The first word is "No," followed in two weeks by the first complete sentence, "There's nothing to eat."
"There's nothing to eat" is an expression older than dirt. It is possibly the greatest guilt line ever written. It'll play anywhere and is guaranteed to bring mother to her knees begging for forgiveness.
Perhaps the most familiar performance is the one staged hourly in from of the refrigerator door. A child will walk into the house, mechanically pull open both the doors to the freezer and refrigerator and scream, "There's nothing to eat."
To a child, nothing is considered edible that is frozen, packaged, wrapped in foil, needs to be heated, cooked, identified, or has not danced on television. Anything edible would have walked out of the refrigerator and jumped on their plate.
"There's nothing to eat" is a great line whenever a mother appears late from an afternoon where she has taken a little time for herself. My kids always played to the house...especially when my mother or mother-in-law were in it. They would wait until I had assumed my Florence Henderson pose of a loving mother and wife. Then they would appear and whisper, " Grandma, there's nothing to eat around here...EVER!"
It never ends. The first letter you get from your child at college will have one theme: starvation. And for mothers who work outside the home, food bulletins are issued every 15 minutes via a telephone call. There's nothing to eat for breakfast, nothing to pack for lunches and nothing in sight for dinner. As for the woman who doesn't have an assortment of snacks by the door, don't even think of calling yourself 'Mother.'
In my son's apartment the other day, I opened the door to his refrigerator. There was nothing in it but a calcified egg roll and a box of cereal hiding out from the roaches. "There's nothing to eat," I said.
He replied, "I've been trying to tell you that for years but you wouldn't listen."

20 Weird things to do while ordering Pizza:

1. Press random numbers on your phone while ordering. Ask them to stop doing that.
2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.
3. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.
4. Tell them a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
5. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
6. Tell them to put the crust on top.
7. Spell out the name of the toppings you want.
8. Stutter on the letter "p."
9. Say hello, then act as if they called you.
10. Order exotic toppings like caviar or smoked oysters.
11. Change your accent every few words.
12. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern following an equation you are about to dictate.
13. When they repeat the order, say: "OK. That'll be $10.99; please pull up to the window."
14. Ask if you can rent a pizza.
15. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, thank them profusely.
16. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
17. Ask that your pizza be "shaken, not stirred."
18. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
19. Ask to see a menu.
20. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

Some foods introduced to the market in the 20^th century.

Source: Bon Appetit magazine.

Answer to Riddle

Pi a'la mode