Page Toppers

Quotes

• And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning. (Winston Churchill replying to a woman who told him he was drunk)
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy
• I cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food!
• I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. (Winston Churchill)
• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
• If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. (Jack Handy)
• It's always happy hour somewhere
• Life's too short to drink cheap wine!
• A man who drinks only water has a secret to hide from his fellow men. (Charles Baudelaire)
• Never cry over spilled milk for it could be something worse, like spilled beer.
• Obligation can pour a glass of milk, but quite often, love adds a little chocolate.
• One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. (Lady Astor)
• 'twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it. (W. C. Fields)
• Water is the only drink for a wise man. (Henry David Thoreau)
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. (Henny Youngman)
• Wine brings to light the hidden secrets of the soul...(Horace)
• Wine is bottled poetry. (Robert Louis Stevenson)
• Wine is my favorite 4-letter word.
• Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. (Dave Barry)

Official State Beverages

Milk is the official beverage of the following states: AR, DE, LA, MD, MN, MS, NC, ND, NE, NY, OK, OR, PA, SC, SD, VT, VA and WI.
As might be expected Florida 'picked' orange juice as their state beverage. (pun intended!)
Other choices include: MA - cranberry juice, OH - Tomato Juice, and RI - 'coffee milk' (I think you have to be from Rhode Island to understand that one).
Two states have another beverage in addition to milk. SC selected tea as its "hospitality drink" and NE selected Kool-Aid as its "soft drink".

Water Or Coke?

(I have not verified this information but I think it is substantially correct.)

WATER

• 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
• In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
• Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
• One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
• Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
• Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
• A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
• Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50%less likely to develop bladder cancer.
• Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?

COKE

• In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
• You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
• To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
• To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
• To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
• To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
• To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for sumptuous brown gravy.
• To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:

• The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.
• To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous Material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
• The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would YOU like a glass of water or coke?

Before the Breathilizer

(Thomas Love Peacock)

Not drunk is he who from the floor
Can rise alone and still drink more;
But drunk is he who prostrate lies
Without the power to move or rise.

Gin

(Noel Coward)

For gin, in cruel
Sober truth,
Supplies the fuel
For flaming youth.

The Curse

(Oscar Wilde)

Too much work, and no vacation,
Deserves at least a small libation.
So hail! my friends, and raise your glasses;
Work's the curse of the drinking classes.

The Spirit of Wine

(W.E. Henley)

I am beauty and love;
I am friendship, the comforter;
I am that which forgives and forgets.
The Spirit of Wine.

Tea

Page Toppers

• It's always time for tea
• (Polly) put the kettle on,
  we'll all have tea.
• Tea for Two
• Tea Party
• Tea Time
• Tea-riffic!
• You're my cup of tea

Quotes

• If man has no tea in him, he is incapable of understanding truth and beauty. (Japanese Proverb)
• If you are cold, tea will warm you; if you are too heated, it will cool you; if you are depressed, it will cheer you; if you are exhausted, it will calm you. (William Gladstone)
• It's always tea time somewhere
• Strange how a teapot can represent at the same time the comforts of solitude and the pleasures of company. (Gary Crounse)
• Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea?-how did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea. (Sydney Smith - 1800's)
• There are few hours in life more agreeable than afternoon tea.
• There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea. (Bernard-Paul Heroux)
• Waiter to customer: You'll have to wait for your tea...
  someone else is using the bag." (Tom Wilson)

Coffee

• All the coffee in Colombia won't make me a morning person.
• Amazing what caffeine and no sense of self-preservation can do.
• Be nice to me. I haven't had my coffee yet!
• Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.
• Better Latte then Never
• Coffee has it's perks.
• Coffee is the same old grind.
• Coffee wicks calories away from dunked donuts.
• Death before Decaf!
• Decaff: Use it to sober up after drinking non-alcoholic beer!
• Decaffeinated coffee? What's the point of THAT!?
• Do not drink coffee in the morning or it will keep you awake until noon.
• Don't criticize the coffee, you may be old and weak someday yourself.
• Drink coffee. Do stupid things faster with more energy!
• Drink your coffee! Poor people in India are sleeping!
• Expresso yourself
• Give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
• I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!
• I drink coffee for your protection.
• I eat coffee straight from the can. Why dilute it?
• I found my perfect man: Mr. Coffee.
• I hate coffee - it keeps me awake at work!
• I'd stop drinking coffee, but I'm no quitter.
• If it weren't for caffeine I'd have no personality whatsoever.
• If you can thread a sewing machine while it's running you've had TOO much coffee!
• Instant human - just add coffee
• Is there life before coffee??
• Java Junkie!
• Java nice day.
• Life is easier with good coffee and a true friend.
• Life's too short for bad coffee.
• Man does not live by coffee alone. Have a Danish.
• A morning without coffee is like sleep.
• My blood type is coffee.
• Never stand between me and my coffee.
• No Questions Please...I haven't had my second cup of coffee yet!
• On the eighth day God created coffee!
• Oxymoron: Decaffeinated coffee
• Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee.
• Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation.
• Some call it coffee, but to me it's a support group.
• Take time to smell the coffee.
• Take two cups and call me in the middle of the night!
• There has never been a better office communication system than the coffee break!
• Ultimate office automation: Networked coffee machines!
• Wake up and smell the coffee.
• Where's my coffee? I could be unstoppable if I could just get started!
• With enough coffee, anything is possible.

You Know You're Addicted to Coffee If...

• Instant coffee takes too long.
• Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
• People get dizzy just watching you.
• People use your hands to blend their margaritas.
• The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
• The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
• Sleep is a poor substitute for coffee
• Starbuck's owns the mortgage on your house.
• The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
• You answer the door before people knock.
• You can jump-start your car without cables.
• You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
• You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
• You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
• You channel surf faster without a remote.
• You chew on other people's fingernails.
• You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
• You don't sweat, you percolate.
• You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
• You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
• You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
• You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
• You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
• You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
• You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
• You lick your coffeepot clean.
• You name your cats Cream and Sugar.
• You short out motion detectors.
• You ski uphill.
• You sleep with your eyes open.
• You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
• You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
• You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
• Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
• Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
• Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
• Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet and Low.
• You're so wired you pick up FM radio.
• You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
• You've worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.
• You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
• You've worn the finish off you coffee table.