Also see Christmas Humor, Christmas and Winter.



Quotes for Greeting Cards

  • A good gag gift: Batteries with a note that says 'gift not includedí.
  • For all you are and all you do
    May everything beautiful in life come to you.
  • He knows if you've been bad or good...Hope your Christmas is merry anyway.
  • Here's hoping a Christmas too nice to forget
    Will be followed right up with the best New Year yet.
  • May you have a peaceful holiday . . . Wrapped in warmth, touched with wonder and filled with love.
  • Joy in giving, Peace in loving, Hope in each new day . . . All these I wish for you and those you love.
  • May each new Christmas memory be more wonderful than the last.
  • May you keep the magic of Christmas in your heart and in your dreams all year long.
  • Meowy Christmas (with photo of you cat)
  • Merry Christmas to someone very special.
  • One year I helped my daughter make her Christmas cards. The front had a picture of her three children and said "I like to give homemade gifts for Christmas...". Inside it said "which one of the kids would you like?"
  • We wish you a beautiful Christmas . . . Wrapped in warmth, touched with wonder and filled with love.
  • Wishing you joys to share, friends to love, and memories to hold close to your heart.

  • Five Ways to say "Merry Christmas"

    English - Merry Christmas
    French - Joyeux NoŽl
    German - Frohe Weihnachten
    Italian - Buon Natale
    Spanish - Feliz Navidad


    Gift Card for Nuts

    I searched for the perfect gift
    but nothing seemed to do
    then I saw these nuts
    and suddenly thought of you.


    Gift Card for Hot Chocolate Mix

    You Friendship Has Warmed Us
    The Whole Year Through
    We Hope This Hot Chocolate
    Will Do the Same For You.


    Gift Cards for Mints


    Gift Cards for M&M's

    Have a Merry and Most Wonderful Holiday Season!


    Gift Card for Muffins

    You're Gettin' Muffin for Christmas


    Gift Cards for Rice Krispie Treats

    Snap! Crackle! Pop! I think you're really tops!
    Thank you for putting the Snap! Crackle! Pop! into our (friendship/marriage)


    Gift Cards for Lifesavers

    For all the times you have come to my rescue.
    You have been a lifesaver to me.


    Gift Cards for Pop

    May your Christmas be Merry and Sprite!
    You make my day sparkle


    Gift Card for Chips

    I can always count on you when the chips are down.


    Gift Cards for Tea

    A friend like you is just my cup of tea.
    May your days be steeped with love and warmed with joy!
    Our friendship is like a cup of tea, a special blend of you and me!


    Gift Cards for Gloves or Mittens

    You are so handy to have around.
    Thanks for lending a helping hand.


    Christmas Scavenger Hunt

    Many people drive or walk around in December looking at Christmas lights and decorations. You can add to the fun by having a scavenger hunt (not to bring things home but to check them off a list if you are the first one to see them.)
    Some ideas are: red, white and blue lights on the same house; an inflatable snow globe; icicle lights, a train, giant presents, three inflatables in the same yard, a Christmas tree in a window, a Disney character, reindeer on a roof, a sleigh on a roof, Mrs. Clause, Santa Claus, a star, a poinsettia, a nutcracker, purple lights, orange lights, a snowman, snowflakes, or carolers.
    Let everyone look at lists for a few minutes before you go so they are familiar with it and for safety the driver should not participate.


    Elf Donuts

    Make some elf donuts to leave with Santa's cookies. Line Cheerios up in a small box like donuts. You could dip some in powdered sugar, or frost the top of some and add sprinkles.


    Magic Sleep

    It's Christmas Eve, time for bed.
    But not an eye will close.
    Too much excitement in the air,
    To let you even doze.

    So make a magic potion
    To help you fall asleep:
    Then Santa and his helpers
    Can down the chimney creep.

    Pour this cocoa in a mug,
    And with hot water mix:
    Then drop in the magic kiss,
    And stir with the candy stick!

    Add a few marshmallows,
    And sip it slowly down.
    Crawl into bed and snuggle in-
    The 'magic sleep' will come!

    Note: Type this poem on a piece of paper. Attach it to a Ziploc bag that contains an envelope of hot cocoa mix, a candy cane, a chocolate Hershey's kiss, and a handful of mini marshmallows. It also makes a good idea for something different as a treat for kindergartners (either from a room mother at a party or as a gift from the teacher).


    What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes?
    A tannen-bomb. (Tannenbaum)


    Snowman Soup (gift idea)

    The Soup:
    1 package hot chocolate mix
    3 Hersheys kisses
    15 or so miniature marshmallows
    1 Candy Cane

    The poem:
    I was told you've been good this year
    Always glad to hear it
    With freezing weather drawing near
    You'll need to warm the spirit.
    So here's a little Snowman Soup
    Complete with stirring Stick
    Add hot water, sip it slow
    It's sure to do the trick!


    Santa's Magic Key

    (get an old key and paint it gold, add some gems and attach the poem to it)

    This key is very special, you see,
    It won't work for you or me.

    Hang it just outside your door,
    Go to bed and worry no more.

    Close your eyes and close them tight,
    'Cause Santa Claus is coming tonight.

    (alternate version)

    Dear Santa,
    We don't have a chimney
    for you to come in through
    And if you miss our house
    I don't know what I'll do.

    Mom says you work magic
    and can use just any old key
    If we just hang it outside
    in a place you're sure to see.

    So I'm placing this old key
    right beside our door
    Say my prayer and jump in bed
    and I won't worry anymore.


    For People with Difficult Families

    Get your relatives speaking to you and to each other by sending a Christmas card and a picture of your family with an extra child nobody knows. If you don't have an extra child handy for the photo, either you or one of your friends and photo-shop one in.


    Snowman Poop

    For a cute gag gift put some white packing peanuts in a bag with this poem:

    You've been naughty!
    Here's the scoop-
    All you get for Christmas
    is Snowman poop!

    (alternate version)
    Santa's made his list and
    he's checked it twice.
    He isn't too happy 'cause
    you haven't been nice.
    Coal is too expensive so
    here's the scoop:
    He's filling your stocking
    with snowman poop!!

    (Be careful with this. I played the trick on my son-in-law when my oldest granddaughter was around five years old. She ended up in tears and saying "my daddy is to good". She was okay after we told her it was a joke but she still didn't think it was funny.)


    Reindeer Food

    Tis the night before Christmas
    and since every year,
    You feed Santa Claus,
    Now feed his reindeer!

    Instructions:
    1. Wait until Christmas Eve.
    2. Open bag and sprinkle Reindeer Food on the lawn.
    3. Hop into bed!
    4. Shhhhh!!! Listen for Santa!
    5. Close your eyes tight! Watch the sugarplums dance!

    Contents:
    Enough Reindeer food for eight tiny reindeer!

    (mix a little glitter with oats or oatmeal to make the magic reindeer food)


    Christmas Carol Game

    There are several ways to use this list. You could divide people in groups and see who figures out the most in a set amount of time. Another idea is to had the list to everyone and when someone figures out a carol they can sing a little of the song. You could do this on a Zoom get-together by emailing each person or group a copy.

    1. Colorless Yuletide
    2. Castaneda Seed in a Conflagration
    3. Singular Yearning for Twin Anterior Incisors
    4. Arrival Time: 24:00 Hours/Weather: Cloudless
    5. Loyal Followers Advance
    6. Delight for This Planet
    7. Musical Clanging Objects Composed of a White Malleable Element
    8. Hail Nativity Conifer
    9. Expect My Arrival at My Domicile this Yule
    10. Listen, the Celestial Messengers Produce Harmonious Sounds
    11. Nocturnal Time Span of Unbroken Quietness
    12. Embellish the Corridors
    13. Seraphim We Aurally Detected in the Stratosphere
    14. The Primary Carol
    15. Hey, Minuscule Urban Area Southwest of Jerusalem
    16. The Slight Percussionist Lad
    17. Creator Grant You Cheerful Thoughts, Noble Sirs
    18. Tranquility upon the Terrestrial Sphere
    19. Rotund Personification Fabricated of Compressed Mounds of Minute Crystals
    20. Expectation of Arrival to Populated Area By Mythical, Magical Masculine Perennial Gift-Giver
    21. In Awe of the Nocturnal Time Span Characterized by Religiosity
    22. Geographic State of Fantasy during the Season of Mother Nature's Dormancy
    23. The First Person Dominative Plural of a Triumvirate of Far Eastern Heads of State
    24. Removed in a Bovine Feeding Trough
    25. Our Desire is Your Yuletide Cheer
    26. Ovine Caretakers Supervised Their Charges in the Period Past Twilight
    27. What Offspring Abides Thus
    28. Song of Joy from Harmonic Hollow Metallic Device
    29. Are You Experiencing Parallel Auditory Input
    30. Proceed to Broadcast This from a Much Higher Elevation
    31. I Auditorily Perceived Clapper Containers at the Peak of the Yuletide Season
    32. I Observed a Trio of Vessels Returning From Yachting

    Answers:

    1. White Christmas
    2. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
    3. All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth
    4. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
    5. Oh Come All Ye Faithful
    6. Joy to the World
    7. Silver Bells
    8. Oh Christmas Tree
    9. I'll Be Home for Christmas
    10. Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
    11. Silent Night
    12. Deck the Halls
    13. Angels We Have Heard On High
    14. The First Noel
    15. Oh Little Town of Bethlehem
    16. Little Drummer Boy
    17. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
    18. Peace on Earth
    19. Frosty the Snowman
    20. Santa Claus is Coming to Town
    21. O, Holy Night
    22. Winter Wonderland
    23. We Three Kings of Orient Are
    24. Away In a Manger
    25. We Wish You a Merry Christmas
    26. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks by Night
    27. What Child Is This?
    28. Carol of the Bells
    29. Do You Hear What I Hear?
    30. Go Tell it on the Mountain
    31. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day
    32. I Saw Three Ships Come Sailing By

    Santa and Gifts

    I think believing in Santa Claus is a wonderful part of childhood. However, many families can't afford to buy their children expense presents or lots of presents. That causes confusion when those children see what Santa brought their friends. They wonder why they got socks and a cheap toy from Santa while their friend got an Ipad. It can make them feel that Santa doesn't like them or they weren't good enough. So why not take credit for the expensive gifts your kids get and tell them that the less expensive gifts are from Santa.


    A Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

    Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

    Please accept as well a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee.
    (By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)


    Real or Fake?

    On a message board someone asked whether others had a real Christmas tree or a fake one. A person new to the board didn't realize that you had to reply from within a message or the reply would show up as a new thread. Those who hadn't noticed the Christmas tree question didn't quite know what to make of this post:
    SUBJECT: Fake, the last 3yrs. I love REAL, but my husband doesn't
    MESSAGE: My husband likes fake, he says less messy, more economical, safer. You have to pick your battles, even though I love real because of the smell and my childhood memories I gave in. It is a nice Fake!