Drug Addiction

Quotes

• Drugs put the wreck in recreation.
• At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
• Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison. (John Hardwick)
• I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough. (M. C. Escher)
• Drugs are death, in one form or another. If they don't kill you, they kill your soul. And if your soul's dead, you've got nothing to offer, anyway. (Paul Stanley)
• I hate to advocate drugs, violence, or insanity...but they've always worked for me. (Hunter S. Thompson)
• I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. (Fran Lebowitz)
• In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
• I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police. (Keith Richards)
• No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. (P. J. O'Rourke)
• People who live in grass houses shouldn't get stoned. (from The Drifters by James A. Michener)
• Reality is just a crutch for people who can't deal with drugs.
• Rehab is for quitters.
• We are never more self-righteous than when giving up what we should have shunned all along.

My Name Is 'Meth'

I destroy homes, I tear families apart,
take your children, and that's just the start.
I'm more costly than diamonds, more precious than gold,
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.

If you need me, remember I'm easily found,
I live all around you - in schools and in town
I live with the rich; I live with the poor,
I live down the street, and maybe next door.

I'm made in a lab, but not like you think,
I can be made under the kitchen sink.
In your child's closet, and even in the woods,
If this scares you to death, well it certainly should.

I have many names, but there's one you know best,
I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is crystal meth.
My power is awesome; try me you'll see,
But if you do, you may never break free.

Just try me once and I might let you go,
But try me twice, and I'll own your soul.
When I possess you, you'll steal and you'll lie,
You do what you have to - just to get high.

The crimes you'll commit for my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure you feel in lungs, nose and arms,
You'll lie to your mother; you'll steal from your dad,
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you'll forget your morals and how you were raised,
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.
I take kids from parents, and parents from kids,
I turn people from God, and separate friends.

I'll take everything from you, your looks and your pride,
I'll be with you always -- right by your side.
You'll give up everything - your family, your home,
Your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.

I'll take and take, till you have nothing more to give,
When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.
If you try me be warned - this is no game,
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravish your body, I'll control your mind,
I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.
The nightmares I'll give you while lying in bed,
The voices you'll hear, from inside your head.

The sweats, the shakes, the visions you'll see,
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.
But then it's too late, and you'll know in your heart,
That you are mine, and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me, they always do,
But you came to me, not I to you.
You knew this would happen, many times you were told,
But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You could have said no, and just walked away,
If you could live that day over, now what would you say?
I'll be your master, you will be my slave,
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

Now that you have met me, what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.
I can bring you more misery than words can tell,
Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.

Alcohol

• Alcohol is the anaesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. (George Bernard Shaw)
• Alcohol puts the wreck back into recreation.
• An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do. (Dylan Thomas)
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
• Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy
• The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way blame it on alcohol.
• I always take life with a grain of salt...plus a slice of lemon...and a shot of tequila.
• Did you hear about the bartender who got arrested for 'emboozlement'.
• Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. (Robert Benchley)
• A hangover is the wrath of grapes
• The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid. (Richard Braunstein)
• I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on. (Oscar Levant)
• I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. (Frank Sinatra)
• If drinking is interfering with your work, you're heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're an alcoholic.
• If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim. (H. Jackson Brown, Jr.)
• It's always happy hour somewhere
• I've never been drunk, but often I've been over-served.
• Never bet your bladder against a brewery.
• No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. (P. J. O'Rourke)
• One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time. (Nancy Astor)
• Rehab is for quitters.
• We are never more self-righteous than when giving up what we should have shunned all along.
• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. (Henny Youngman)
• You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Alcohol Warning Labels We SHOULD See

• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named "Psycho."
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible (or invincible).
• WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

Smoking

Quotes and Humor

• Feel free to use our smoking area: it's located outdoors.
• If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. (Douglas Adams)
• If you must smoke, take your butt outside.
• If you stick a cigarette in your ear, you will look stupid. But if you stick one in your mouth, then you are stupid!
• If you're smoking in this house, you'd better be on fire.
• In everyday life, smoke travels. Giving smokers equal rights to the air is like giving toxic-waste polluters equal rights to the water. This is not a matter of etiquette but of health. As Dr. Koop writes, "The choice to smoke cannot interfere with the nonsmoker's right to breathe air free of tobacco smoke."
• Patient: "Do you drink or smoke?"
  Doctor: "No, neither one."
  Patient: "Well, I'm going to find a doctor that does."
  Doctor: "There are two in my waiting room."
• Patient: "I'm terribly worried about old age, doctor...what can I do to prevent it?"
  Doctor: "Do you smoke?"
  Patient: "Sure."
  Doctor: "You're on the right track."
• Please don't smoke; we might croak.
• Smoking husband: "How come you always read the obituaries?"
  Wife: "I want to see who stopped smoking."