Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of



If you don't appreciate humor and satire about serious subjects you should skip this file. I would never minimize the devastating affects of emotional or mental problems. I understand those things very well. But it is important to learn to laugh at our 'peculiarities'. Laughing won't make problems go away but it can make them easier to live with. Our differences makes the world interesting.
This file includes Fear and Neuroses, Going Crazy and Psychiatry.
Also see Stress, Emotional and Mental Health, Addiction, and Scrapping the Difficult Times.



Quotes


Handling Stress

Husband: "It's good to see you taking time to read a book. What is it?"
Wife: "A book on how to handle stress. The doctor says I get involved in too many things. This is a terrific book--I know all kinds of people who would benefit from a course on this . . . I bet if I tried I could get a good group together! I'm going over to Connie's. She'll know someone who could give a workshop. We could form a committee . . ."
Husband: "I give up!"


The Secret to Inner Peace

If the things in the list above don't help you, here is another suggestion. By following the simple advice I read in an article, I have finally found inner peace . . . It read: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around to see all the things I started and hadn't finished. Today I have finished one small bottle of Grand Marnier, a bottle of red wine, a bottle of Jack Daniel's, my Prozac, a small box of chocolates and a half-gallon of Baskin Robbins rocky road ice cream. You have no idea how good I feel.


Myers-Briggs Types prayers


Songs about Emotional Health


Songs about Obsession



Going Crazy


Quotes


10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

  1. Sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
  2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
  3. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
  4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  5. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
  6. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
  7. Sing along at the opera.
  8. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
  9. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
  10. Tell your children, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Songs about Craziness



Fears and Neuroses


Quotes


Songs about Fear and Neurosis



Psychiatry



Bathtub Test

A visitor at a mental institution asked the Director what criteria defines whether a patient needs to be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."
Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket since it is larger than the teacup or spoon."
"No," answered the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

So how did you do?


Psychiatric Hotline

(Barbara Johnson)

Hello, welcome to Psychiatric Hotline.


2020 Pandemic

The Covid-19 pandemic was terrible in so many ways, but humor and a different way of looking at things helped lift many people's spirits